


Tumbling off the cliff

by Gillanna



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2020-02-18 14:07:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18701146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gillanna/pseuds/Gillanna
Summary: Follow up to my Edging Closer story. You don't need to have read that one first, but you might as well. This would be set directly after the end of Revulsions. You know, when they meet later, in B'Elanna's quarters.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have this posted up on that other site and while it got hearts no one commented on it. At first I didn't care because I had decided to change the ending of the second chapter a bit and add more chapters, but I put off working on it, for months. Than the wonderful Lady Arreya commented, kindly reminding me to post it here and that got my ass back in gear (thank you!). I am working on the other chapters again. I might not get them up this weekend but am shooting for the next week or two.

B'Elanna stared into the mirror cursing loudly. She had been trying to decide what to wear for her date with Tom for the last 20 minutes. Of course, that was part of her problem; she couldn't call it a date anymore. They were meeting to finish what they had started before she had left with the Doctor.

They were meeting to have sex.

It was easy to flirt when the Doctor was around, he was a built in safety buffer, but the idea of actually sleeping with Tom was starting to unnerve her more than she wanted to admit. It wasn't just that it had been a while since she had been with anyone, she was worried about what Tom was expecting.

She remembered far more about Sakari than she cared to. She had acted like an animal, like such a… Klingon. That wasn't her at all. She couldn't help but be anxious that that was the B'Elanna he thought he was going to be getting tonight.

She could pretend for a while, but she didn't want to have to fake anything with him. She hated to admit her past lover never cared much about her needs and cared more about fulfilling their own fantasies. What if Tom was just like them?

She looked into the mirror again cursing, maybe she should just cancel. Send him a message and say she was too tired to get together. She was frankly exhausted and knew he wouldn't question it, at least not tonight. She wished for the millionth time in her life that she could just be human, then none of this would be an issue.

Sitting down on the bench next to the shower she tried to tell herself that things had been going fine before they were interrupted. Sure, Tom had bitten her, but he didn't seem disappointed that she wasn't fighting him for dominance.

Gods! She groaned as she smacked the bench. She hated feeling this insecure. For an instance she found herself wondering if Tom was feeling the same way. Was he worried about what to wear or how things would go tonight? Laughing bitterly with the realization that Tom likely wouldn't even think twice about any of it.

She finally decided to go with a burgundy formfitting tank top and sleep pants. He seemed to like the fact that she had not been wearing Starfleet approved undergarments before, so she went with her other set that matched the blue he had seen earlier. She figured it was a step past causal but not lingerie. She snickered at the thought of what Tom's face would look like if she answered her door in a satin nightgown or hell even nothing at all. She couldn't decide if he would ask if she would like to have dinner first or simply pick her up and take her straight to the bed, she assumed the latter.

At least this outfit suggested that there might be talking before they fell into bed together. Then again, talking had never been their strong suit.

She decided to replicate a double Vulcan brandy in an attempt to relax her nerves. She loved Tom, wanted to be with him, but if she was being honest with herself she was still terrified to let him in. Especially since she had spent the last two and a half years fighting with him, often viciously. She knew she had been fighting because she was scared to let anyone close to her, but he fought back just as hard.

Maybe he was scared too?

Tom was an expert at using his mask to shield himself from those around him. She'd been surprised the first few times she saw him drop it, letting her see the real him. She was startled to find out he wasn't just some arrogant pig, but a truly caring individual. He was nothing like his finely crafted persona. It was no wonder Harry had bonded with Tom so easily. Harry had clearly seen through Tom's act immediately, same way Harry had with her

Sipping her drink, she marveled at what the B'Elanna from all those years would say about falling in love with Tom. She'd likely think she'd gone mad. After all, he was the one that had been willing to sell out the Maquis to the Federation so he could get out of prison early.

A terrifying though crossed B'Elanna's mind. If Tom hadn't, she still would have ended up in the Delta Quadrant but it was possible Voyager wouldn't have. Would they have been able to survive on the Val Jean here? Would she have even made it off the Ocampan home world without Voyager's help? Shivering at the thought that without Harry, she would have been alone and likely died as all the others the Caretaker had sent there before them. It had been disturbing enough to go through it with a complete stranger, but being alone would have been unbearable.

The sound of her door chime pulled her from her thoughts. She took a deep breath before instructing the computer to open the door. She couldn't help but to start smiling when she saw Tom standing on the other side of the door. He had changed out of his uniform into one of his causal outfits.

"Hello, Tom." She said as he walked through the door way.

"Hey." Tom said smiling at her. He moved to sit on the couch next to her but paused when he spotted her drink. He couldn't help himself from playfully frowning as he sat down. "Don't tell me you had to drink to make it through a night with me?"

"What makes you think I'll be spending the night with you?" she jokingly shot back taking another sip from her drink. "Maybe I've had a better offer since I saw you last."

"Oh really? And just who could have possibly made you a better offer?" He jested.

"Well, Harry seemed really disappointed that I wouldn't go out with him tonight. He was offering me free food and drinks. If I get bored with you, I might have to take him up on it." She teased.

"When did you talk to Harry?" Tom asked as a slightly uncomfortable smile crossed his face.

"Maybe an hour ago. Why?"

"Well, it sounds he asked you to go out and then stopped by to ask me. I told him I had plans with you and after a long pause he slapped my shoulder and told me to have a 'good night'. What did you tell him?" The look on Harry's face had all but said enough, but Tom was still curious.

Blushing B'Elanna couldn't help but to laugh thinking about it. "I told him I had plans to spend the whole night in bed."

"You think he knows?"

"Most likely. Sometimes he's too perceptive for his own damn good." She said sighing taking another sip of her drink.

"Sorry B'Elanna, I guess we should have planned this a bit better." He knew she wanted to keep their relationship quiet for the time being, unlike him. He wanted scream up and down the halls so that everyone knew how lucky he was. He figured it was because she was still hesitant about his intentions, not that he blamed her for that. His reputation was a hard thing to get out of the shadow of. He'd just have to prove to her that she was safe with him. That he wasn't going to hurt her.

That she wasn't a game to him.

"Don't be sorry, Tom. I don't care if Harry knows, as long as he keeps his mouth shut. It's the rest of the ship that I don't want gossiping about it."

"I know, don't worry. I am willing to bet he's smart enough to know if we haven't told him, we not telling anyone. Have you eaten dinner yet? I can't let Harry's offer seem to tempting." Tom added with a smile changing the subject.

"I haven't. I stopped by the mess hall after the Doctor finally released me but left quickly when I saw what Neelix was serving."

"Yah, I heard he was serving grunt meal disguised as rice with some stir-fried leola root. Sounded delicious."

"Are you saying that's what for dinner? Because I think I can still catch Harry before he eats." Tossing a knowing smile in Tom's direction.

"Nah, I figured we could stay in and enjoy a good meal here, far away from any Delta Quadrant cuisine. What would you like? I won a large number of credits off of Chakotay last week that are burning a hole in my account."

"What bet did he lose?" It was slightly amusing to think of Chakotay inadvertently paying for their first meal together as a couple. She was sure he'd be thrilled.

"I bet him two weeks' worth of rations he couldn't go a whole shift without commenting on the Captain's work habits. He almost made it too. I was saved at the last minute when the Captain came back to the bridge looking for a PADD she had left. Chakotay was halfway through his spiel about the number of hours she worked before he remembered. He just looked at me and muttered 'dammit' before leaving the bridge." Tom said laughing.

"Did you mention your little bet to the Captain?" She questioned as a knowing smile crossed her lips.

The Paris smirk fell firmly into place. "Well, that depends on who's side you are on."

"Who's side?" She asked innocently.

"Where do your loyalties lie, B'Elanna?" he asked as he slid closer to her on the couch, running his hand up her arm.

"Seeing as I am about to benefit from your underhandedness, I would say it currently rests with you. But I am bribable, so my allegiances may change from time to time."

"I wouldn't want it any other way." His hand slowly moved up to trace the side of her face, his eyes darted to her lips and back to her eyes again. He couldn't help but lean forward to kiss her when she lipped her lips. It was a tentative kiss at first, almost as if he was testing the waters to see if anything had changed. It deepened as his hand moved to grab the back of her neck as he if was afraid she would disappear from in front of him.

"I thought I was promised dinner." B'Elanna panted as she pulled back to get some air, her head spinning from the intensity of his kiss.

"Quite right." Tom said grinning, standing up from the couch. "What would you like?"

"How about some kind of pasta?" She asked.

"I know the perfect dish. Did you want another brandy or are you okay with wine?"

She started to question how he knew she was drinking brandy before realizing he would have been able to taste it on her lips.

"Are you trying to get me drunk, Lieutenant?" She joked trying to cover the blush that raised on her face at the thought of how his tongue had traced her lips.

"Do I need to?" He quickly asked with a grimace.

"No, I'm a sure thing tonight. But some wine with dinner would be wonderful."

Tom entered the requirements into the replicator. "A sure thing, huh? I guess I didn't need to spend all those nights worrying about how to make you like me."

"All of those nights?" B'Elanna asked lightheartedly as Tom carried over their plates of dinner and return to the replicator for the wine. "How often were you thinking about me?"

"Oh, I couldn't tell you that. It might ruin my reputation."

"Well, then I guess you will never know how many nights I spent thinking about you." She smirked.

"Now, let's not get too hasty." He poured a glass of wine and handed it to her. "I'm sure we can work out some kind of mutual disclosure on length of feelings."

"I thought that might be the case." She joked.

He raised his glass of wine to hers. "To us."

She couldn't help but to blush at him again. "To us."

"I love making you blush."

"Shut up and drink your wine, Tom. I think I'm starting to regret my earlier comment."

"I can't have that. How about if I guarantee to be a sure thing tonight too?" Winking at her.

B'Elanna raised her eyebrow at him. "Oh really? Promises, promises. You sure you're not too tired after your long, hard day spent sitting in a comfortable chair, not fighting for your life?"

"Hey! I had to clean up blood and bones, as well as try to talk Ensign egger away from a terrible decision, great advice which he ignored I might add."

"Good to know blood and pieces of bones aren't your thing... Wait, Ensign egger? Is that what you were talking about earlier? Don't tell me Harry fell for that Borg bitch! What the hell is wrong with him? The last time they worked together she tried to kill him, kill all of us!"

"You really don't like her do you?" Tom asked carefully.

"I tend not to like those who have murdered millions of people and then try to get me assimilated." She answered smartly.

"All understandable reasons. But, it's not like she had any control over that, well save for trying to get us assimilated. You have to admit this must be terrifying for her. She was only six when she was taken. I think she's more scared of us than we are of her."

B'Elanna groaned inwardly. She didn't want to start an argument over the Borg. It was clear Tom was friendly with her and B'Elanna couldn't help but feel a bit jealous. Seven was everything she wasn't. Tall, beautiful, blonde, and a body suit that left nothing to anyone imagination. "If you say so. What advice did you give Harry?"

"To be careful, but you know him. Never listens."

"Oh I'm sure he was listening to a certain part of his anatomy."

Tom took a bit of his pasta before laughing. "Actually, she propositioned him and he turned her down."

She stopped her fork midway to her mouth in shock. "She… and he turned her down? She's every man's walking fantasy!" She said in absolute shock.

"Not every man's." Tom watched as B'Elanna blushed again. "How is it that I could never get you to blush before?"

"Because I didn't like you before." She said smartly.

"Lies!"

Taking another bite of her food she asked "What is this, it's delicious?"

"Pasta primavera. Don't try to change the subject."

"And the wine?" She asked trying not to smile at the look on his face.

"Gewürztraminer and we were talking about you liking me."

"Actually, I believe we were talking about me not liking you." B'Elanna smiled as she took a long drink of her wine. "How long have you liked me?"

"What, it wasn't obvious?"

"It was obvious you wanted to sleep with me. The actual liking me part isn't so clear."

Tom at least had the common decency to look slightly ashamed. "I guess I did act a bit like a jerk in the beginning."

"A bit?"

"Okay, a massive jerk." Tom admitted.

"Did you actually think that would work on me?"

"Would it help if I said I'm glad it didn't?"

B'Elanna leaned back on the couch after finishing her pasta, wine in hand. "How would that help?"

"Because it if had worked, you wouldn't have been worth the effort."

"Wait are you saying if I was easy I wouldn't have been worth your time?!" B'Elanna was shocked by his words. Who the hell was he to judge anyone on their sexual behaviors? She never for a second would have thought he would have been like this. Maybe he wasn't as different as he pretended to be.

"No! God no. That's not what I meant at all. It's just... having to fight for you made me see that I didn't want a superficial relationship with you. If it was just sex, I wouldn't have had to let you in. I came to realize I wanted to let you in, I wanted you to let me in. I hadn't wanted that in a long time, B'Elanna. For some reason when it came to you, it's the only thing I wanted from the very first time you called me a pig. Even if it took me a while to admit it to myself." He finished looking directly into her eyes. Being honest with his emotions had never been easy for him, but he was trying. That was something else she was responsible for.

"So how long ago did you finally admit it to yourself?" B'Elanna asked trying not to show how worried she had been.

"Oh about a year ago. When you were dating Bristow."

"I never dated Freddy!" She said with an annoyed sigh.

"Fine. When you were, spending time, with Freddy. I asked you to join me for sailing and you said you'd prefer him over me."

"Tom, I didn't really mean that. You just… shocked me. You had hit on me before, but that was the first genuine offer of a date you had made. You were jealous of Freddy! I didn't know what to do with that." She said quickly. She had been truly shaken up by his actions at the time, realizing he was raising the stakes with her when he asked her to go sailing. She had been even more terrified that there was a part of her that had desperately wanted him to keep asking her to go.

"That's okay B'Elanna. I wasn't exactly suave about asking you. I realized that I wanted to be with you, but the idea of a real relationship was still a hard pill for me to sallow."

B'Elanna couldn't help but snort. "How you thought pointing out that I was living like a monk would get you anywhere is beyond me."

"Like I said, I wasn't exactly smooth. Truthfully, I was just trying to figure out how real of a threat Bristow was."

"Wait, were you trying to figure out if I was sleeping with Freddy?!"

"No!" Tom started immediately before seeing the look in her eyes. "Okay, maybe...Yes. Since I knew you weren't exactly the casual sex type, I figured if you were sleeping with him it was serious."

"The casual sex type? How the hell did you know if I'm the casual sex type or not?!" Raising her voice at him.

"You know how guys talk. Since no one ever talked about you I assumed..."

"Tom, you realize you're starting to tread on dangerous ground, right? You might want to rethink where you're going with this conversation. Fast." She growled at him harshly.

"B'Elanna, even if you didn't want to keep us a secret for the time being, I still not the type to kiss and tell."

"That's not what...Forget it." B'Elanna said trying to keep the anger out of her voice. "I don't want to get into a pointless argument about it."

"Okay, tell me where I messed up here." Tom quickly asked. He couldn't believe he had already said something that risked getting him shoved out the door.

"Tom..." She shot warningly at him

"No, please. We need to be able to talk through this kind of thing. I don't want us continuing to run away from the other when we get upset." He pleaded with her.

"It's nothing. It isn't important." She muttered as she finished her wine.

"B'Elanna, please. I want to know where I put my foot in my mouth so I don't do it again."

"Knowing you, your foot will spend most of its time in your mouth!" She snapped at him before reining herself back in. She hadn't meant to yell at him. Hell, she wasn't even sure herself why she had gotten so upset. She sighed, rubbing her hand over her face, sinking further into the couch. "I'm sorry Tom. I didn't mean that."

"That's okay. I just want to understand, B'Elanna. Please, talk to me." His voice was calm and caring. She risked a quick glance only to be met with a look of hurt and confusion from his blue eyes.

"I'm not even sure if I know, Tom. Let's just forget it."

"At the risk of starting a fight with you, no, let's not just forget about it. I'm serious, B'Elanna. I want to understand."

"Like I said, I'm not even sure what it was! There isn't much point in trying to talk it out."

"Was it because I brought up Freddy?"

"No." She said simply.

"Was it because I said guys talk?" He tried again.

"What is this twenty questions?" She huffed.

"Whatever it takes to figure this out." He replied.

"Tom," she sighed again at him. He just stared calmly back at her; it was clear he wasn't going to let this go.

"Was it because I wanted to know if you were having sex with Freddy?"

"No." She said slowly before realizing why she had gotten upset. It wasn't even that she was mad about it, it was more she was embarrassed by the talk about her sex life, or lack thereof. It also served to remind her about her worries around Tom's views of her Klingon half and what he was going to want from her tonight.

She took a deep breath before risking telling him the truth. "I guess… I guess it really bothered me that you called me a monk. Like there must be something wrong with me because I'm a Klingon who doesn't have, 'causal sex', as you put it."

"There is nothing wrong with you, B'Elanna. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be in a committed relationship before having sex with someone. If that's how it sounded I'm sorry. It truly isn't what I meant." Tom said as his hand grabbed hers tightly, his blue eyes locked with hers. "It's also okay if you wanted to not be a sure thing tonight and wanted to wait. I meant what I said before you left. I'll wait forever for you to let me in."

Sighing heavily, she wondered how far she should take this conversation. She knew she would feel a lot better if she knew what he wanted from her. Groaning softly as she bit on her lower lip lightly before deciding to speak again. "It's just, hard, when Klingons have such a well-known reputation around sex. I always worry about what a guy is going to expect from me." She admitted looking down at their joined hands trying to keep the embarrassment out of her voice, failing miserably.

"Do you think I expect you to be a certain way?" Finally catching on to what she was really concerned about.

"I guess I'm a little, apprehensive, that you may have formed some kind of idea about what sex would be like with me because of what happened on Sakari." She murmured quietly.

"B'Elanna, you were ill. You definitely were not yourself. I think it's possible that you were surprised by your own level of Klingoness on the planet. That it scared you to let yourself be seen as that Klingon. But, do I expect you to be like you were on the planet? God no! Of course not, B'Elanna. I kind of assumed that was more like what you would be like, times about 50."

"Gods it was so embarrassing," burring her face in her hands.

"I thought you said you didn't really remember what you did or what you said on the planet." Tom asked with a knowing smirk. "Don't tell me you lied to me."

"It's still pretty jumbled, but I maybe remember more than I led you to believe." She answered honestly.

"Oh, like what?" He asked curious. He always knew she remembered more than she led on but he was never quite sure what parts she remembered.

B'Elanna picked at her nails lightly before answering. "Like telling you that I was interested you, but I was scared to admit it."

"Ahh," Tom said shifting his body uncomfortably. "So that means you remembered when I kissed you. I wanted to apologize for that as soon as you were feeling better, but I figured if you didn't remember it, you'd hate me for telling you that it happened at all."

"You don't have to apologize Tom. It was a dirty move to play with your feelings for me like that."

"That's okay. I knew you didn't really mean it. But, for that moment I couldn't resist believing that it was possible you might and letting myself go for a few seconds."

"I'm sorry, Tom."

"Don't be sorry!" Tom said more harshly than he meant to. "I'm the one that crossed the line. I shouldn't have taken advantage of the situation, of you. I knew you were lying to me. I shouldn't have kissed you back."

"Really Tom, you don't have to feel guilty about it. Besides it maybe wasn't completely a..." B'Elanna silently cursed. She hadn't mean to start to admit she hadn't been completely lying.

"Wasn't a complete what?"

"Nothing!" She mumbled quickly. "Can I have another glass of wine?"

"B'Elanna?" He insisted.

She sighed heavily. "Okay fine. Maybe I was starting to like you. But, because you always acted like such a pig, I was worried that you were just playing me to remove Klingon from your wish list."

"Wait, you've liked me for almost as long as I've liked you?" Tom said laughing. "So we wasted a year running from each other, even though we both felt the same way?!"

"I wouldn't say I liked you completely. Just that it was possible you weren't the jerk you wanted everyone to think you were." She paused briefly before continuing with a slight smile. "I realized I could trust you after Sakari. If you had only wanted to have sex with me, you would have taken me in the cave without a second thought."

"You know, for as much as I wish we wouldn't have spent all this time running from each other, I am glad Vorik showed up when he did."

"Me too. I'm not sure I could have looked you in the eye after if we had gone much further."

"Will you be able to look me in the eye tomorrow, B'Elanna?" His tone completely serious.

"I guess we'll just have to see won't we?" She answered biting her bottom lip softly.

"I am serious about waiting if you want to. I don't want to pressure you into anything." Tom repeated looking from her lips back up into her eyes. It was still a bit foreign to him to give so many ways out to a woman, but he wanted her to be with him because she was ready, not because he pushed her into it.

"You're not pressuring me, Tom. I just hate feeling insecure."

Tom couldn't help but laugh. "B'Elanna, do you seriously think I'm not feeling the same way? This is a huge step for us. I spent the whole time you were gone thinking about how tonight would go. How to make it, don't know, perfect for you."

"You want to make it perfect?" She asked blushing again. "What does perfect even look like anyways." Brushing off non-existence wrinkles in her pants.

"I don't know. You tell me, B'Elanna. What would make tonight perfect for you?" Tom asked as he slowly moved to kiss her neck, his hands skimming up her arms.

They both jumped as her door chimed.

"Well, not being interrupted yet again would be a good start." She said frowning.

"If it's Harry, I going to have to kill him." Tom said completely genuine.

"I'll help you hide his body," B'Elanna laughed before checking to make sure the scene didn't look too off before instructing the doors to open while Tom busied himself refilling their glasses trying to act like it was a perfectly normal evening for them. Tom nearly choked on his wine, making her looked up to the door.

"Captain, Commander. Come in." B'Elanna said as both she and Tom started to rise before the Captain waved them off.

"Sorry to interrupt your dinner," the Captain said "but we wanted to check in and see how you were feeling, B'Elanna."

"I see you were smart enough to avoid the mess hall tonight." Chakotay added.

"Oh yes. Luckily, Tom here came into some extra rations recently, so I was saved from Neelix's latest creation." B'Elanna managed to say with a straight face.

"Really, Paris. Is everyone in on the joke?" Chakotay grumbled.

"Commander, I'm sure I haven't the foggiest idea what you mean." Tom answered calmly.

"I'm sure everyone in this room knows what I mean." Chakotay responded bluntly leading Janeway to stifle a laugh. "See." He added for good measure.

"You learned a valuable lesson, didn't you Commander?" Janeway replied.

"Yes, don't trust Paris to not cheat on a bet."

"Hey! I didn't cheat. There were no limits added to said bet that preventing me from insuring victory." Tom quickly pushed back.

"That won't be a mistake I'll make again." Chakotay stated.

"I have no doubt of that, Sir." Tom said laughing. "But, it was worth it to see the look on your face."

"How was your shift in sickbay, Paris? The Doctor asked me to start scheduling you in a few days a week, but I'm thinking you might need some extra practice. I could switch your morning bridge shift tomorrow to sickbay if you like. Might improve your bedside manner." Chakotay said mockingly.

B'Elanna couldn't stop from spitting out the sip of wine she had just taken as she started to snicker.

"You okay B'Elanna?" Chakotay asked concerned.

"Yah." Turning to glance at Tom before continuing. "I'm sure you'd be happy to know Chakotay, the Doctor has similar concerns about Tom's bedside manner. Not to mention how he would not shut up about Tom being left alone in Sickbay to run things. He was convinced it wouldn't be standing when we got back."

"Hey! What is this, gang up on Paris night? I did an excellent job in sickbay!" Turning to smirk at B'Elanna "But, I'm more than happy to have my bedside manner tested at any time."

"I'm sure you are, Paris. Maybe you can start on Harry's broken heart first." B'Elanna shot back. She figured if they stuck to their normal banter their commanding officers might not realize their relationship had taken a very large turn.

"What's wrong with Harry?" The Captain asked immediately concerned.

"Oh it's nothing, Kathryn." Chakotay quickly replied.

She simply raised an eyebrow at him. "Right. Anyways we just wanted to stop by, see how you were doing…" the Captain paused but Chakotay instantaneously chimed in.

"And tell you to take the next two days off. If you're seen anywhere near main engineering, you'll be required to take another two days off until you can make it the full 48 hours without working."

"Why? I'm fine. The Doctor gave me the all clear." B'Elanna said confused.

"New policy." Chakotay continued. "For each near death experience, you are required to take a day off."

"Please, then no one on this ship would ever work." B'Elanna snapped at him before she could think better of it. She watched as the Captain placed her hand on her hip at the comment.

"It's two days, Torres. You can survive without your engines for two days." Chakotay continued.

"I've already gone a day and a half without them. You're lucky they are even still running! We are continuing to have to work out kinks from reinstalling the warp core." B'Elanna complained loudly before pausing suddenly. "Chakotay, didn't you just say that Paris was assigned to the bridge in the morning?"

"Yes," Chakotay responded slowly.

"And I'm assuming the two near death experiences you were referring to were the crazy hologram and nearly dying in space. I don't remember floating in space alone. In fact I clearly remember having to give up half of my oxygen to someone who couldn't keep theirs."

"Hey!" Paris interjected.

B'Elanna ignored him and kept going "Why is it that I have to take time off but Paris doesn't?" B'Elanna demanded harshly. "Look if you want, I'll take part of the morning off, but I really have too many things to do take two full days off."

"Paris?"

"Yes, Commander."

"You have tomorrow off to recover from your near death experience."

"Darn it and I was so looking forward to spending the day in sickbay."

"Careful Paris, I can just as easily schedule you for the day after."

"On second thought, I could really use a day off to recover from being seconds away from death. It was a major life changing event after all, made me rethink everything around me." Paris said smirking beyond proud of himself that he was able to sneak the truth in without either of their commanding officers noticing.

"Chakotay that's not..." B'Elanna started to say before being cut off.

"Not what you wanted. I know, but you still have the next two days off." Chakotay said smiling. "Do something fun or just stay in bed all day. I don't care. Just stay away from engineering. Got it?"

"Fine. Any more news you want to spring on me while your here?" B'Elanna asked bitterly.

"No. You two enjoy the rest of your night." The Captain responded before her first officer could start in again.

"Night." Tom and B'Elanna replied in unison, looking very uncomfortable as they did so. 

Janeway couldn't help but smile slightly as she and Chakotay turned to walk out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you ask really nice I might be willing to share the very very different first draft version of this first chapter. Can you say drunk Harry and B'Elanna? The Doc showing up with a thoughtful gift? And poor Tom walking into the middle of it confused as fuck? Yep. But it ended up not being the direction I wanted to go, but I still really like it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know I made I super short scene of J/C right after they left B'Elanna's quarters? Couldn't help myself. If you're a J/Cer you should go read it or something (Placing Bets).

B'Elanna let out a sigh of relief as her door, slumping back onto her couch. She and Tom weren't even sleeping together yet and people were already figuring out they were together.

"We seemed normal, right?" Tom asked concerned.

"I think the Captain had a pretty good idea. Chakotay would have never left if he realized."

"You are much more devious than I gave you credit for, Ms. Torres."

"Whatever do you mean?" Asking as innocently as she could.

"You just played Chakotay to get me the day off. I'm impressed."

"It's good to know you're so easily impressed. I can only hope that…"

Her words were cut off when Tom pressed his lips on hers. He pulled her onto his lap guiding her legs to either side of him. His tongue sought entry as his hands moved to grip her hips tightly. Her head was widely spinning. She had never felt like this with anyone before. It was like she was melting into him, unable to break free. She almost didn't notice he was talking to her.

"Hmm?" She asked him.

"I believe we were talking about what would make this night perfect for you." He asked again with a knowing smile.

She slid her hand along his face staring into his eyes. She couldn't understand why he loved her; why he hadn't gotten scared off by her. She had made him run every gauntlet she could think of to try to see if he would run. None of it work on him. She wasn't sure she was worthy of that kind of love. He called her name when she didn't answer him. What could she answer him? She didn't know what perfect looked like any more than he did. But maybe that was the point. Maybe it would simply be perfect because it was with him.

Biting her lip lightly she finally answered. "This is perfect." Unable to stop the shiver down her spine when he slowly slid his hands up her sides.

His smile beamed as he softly dragged his thumb across her lips. "Yah?"

Nodding her head slightly before taking a deep breath. Moving to stand, she held out her hand to him when he looked up at her confused. "Take me to bed, Tom."

"You sure?" He asked, his eyes never leaving her face.

"Don't tell me you've changed your mind." She teased.

"Not possible." He stated as he took her hand and stood up.

On the way to the bed their hands made fast work of their clothing. Hands sliding over each new piece of skin discovered. He couldn't stop the moan of pleasure when her nails dug into his shoulders as he removed her underwear. He had never been big on pain with sex. Yet he found himself longing for her to rank her nails down his back so bad, he could come just thinking about it.

He had fantasized a lot about what it would be like to be with her. It didn't have anything to do with her being half Klingon and everything to do with wanted to possess and be possessed by her. Like with her, there finally didn't need to be any games or pretenses. Nothing other than their desire and love was needed.

He lowered her down gently to the bed and then kicked off his boxers, leaving nothing between them finally. He moved to lay alongside of her, hands sliding up her side before he moved to kiss her lips again. He could feel her body respond to him and he felt like crying. She was perfection personified.

"Is there anything you don't like?" He asked as he kissed his way down her neck moving to circle her nipple with his tongue. Her head fell back, as a moan tumbled from her lips as he lightly sucked. When she didn't respond he paused his ministrations and rested his chin between her breasts looking up at her hungrily. "B'Elanna?"

"Hmm?" she responded pondering why he had stopped his mouth, briefly wondering if she should just grab his head and return it to her breast.

"Is there anything you don't like or don't want me to do?" Tom asked again. He couldn't help but feel anger start to boil within him when he saw her look of confusion. It was clear no one had ever bother to ask her what she wanted. He wished he could track her past lovers down and spend a few minutes with each one them in a small, very locked, room.

She wanted to be embarrassed that she hadn't understood what he was asking but she could see the look of anger in his eyes for her and could only smile at his protective nature. "How about I just ask you to stop if I don't like something?"

That seemed to snap him out of his hesitancy moving his attention back to her breasts. His lips drew in a peak slowly before moving to take the other. His hand skated down the curves of her body before moving to stroke her folds. He couldn't stop the groan that fell from his lips as he felt how wet she was; how hot her skin was. He felt like she would burn him alive.

"Damn, B'Elanna."

She couldn't help but smile at how he happy he sounded. How excited it seemed to make him. He bit her nipple firmly before leaving a trail of love bites down her chest. When his tongue circled her navel she couldn't help but shiver realizing where he was heading. She tensed sharply wondering if she should ask him to stop. It wasn't that she didn't like that specific ministration, she had just always been told that she tasted, odd. Every guy she had been with commented on it. She couldn't help but feel apprehensive about it. It was just another way her Klingon half kept her from being normal.

Tom paused when he felt her body stay tightly tensed as he had continued along his path. He figured that meant it was more than just anticipation. He rested his chin lightly on her hip bone and looked up at her. He was sure he had never seen anything more beautiful in his entire life. Her eyes dark, chest rising shakily, lips parted slightly, all for him.

"B'Elanna?" He called softly to her. "Is this okay?"

She took a deep breath, closing her eyes, before nodding her head lightly.

He kissed her hip then gazed up at her again. "What is it?"

Shaking her head gently, she had to keep herself from crying. She hated feeling this uncomfortable about things. She hated being different.

Most of all she hated that she was letting herself care so much about what Tom would think.

"B'Elanna, tell me." Tom asked softly.

She felt the tears start to form in the corner of her eyes. Normally with a guy she never felt this much. Part of her wanted to shut down a bit, everything felt too intense. Maybe if she wasn't feeling so much, she wouldn't be this emotional. Only, she didn't want to numb out any part of being with Tom. It all felt too good, too right to not let it all in, to not let him in. She risked a glance down at him to find he was still waiting patiently for her to answer him. He didn't look upset or annoyed, his face only seemed to hold love and concern for her.

"It's okay, Tom. It's just…" She stopped unable to find the words to tell him.

Tom moved upward to lay beside her again. He kissed her deeply before pulling back to look at her.

"You know I won't me mad if you ask me to stop or not do something right?" He said tenderly.

"I want you to. It's just that..."

"It's just that what?"

B'Elanna moved to cover her face with her hands groaning, her face lighting up red in the dim room. She was unable to keep the mortification out of her voice when she finally answered. "I taste different."

"What?" He asked her confused. He used his hand to pull hers away from her face.

"You heard me." She said annoyed as she tried to turn her face away but he held her head in place with his other hand.

"I did, but I don't understand. Everyone tastes different. What does that matter?" He said utterly confused.

She wanted to shove him away, to yell at him for being like this but she knew that she only wanted to do that because she was humiliated by her reactions, not his. She tried to look anywhere but into his eyes. She knew if she did she would be lost, that he would draw her in and she would start crying. She was self-conscious enough; she didn't need to add crying to the mix.

"B'Elanna, I'm sure it won't do any good to say this to you, but I am going to anyways. Stop worrying about what anyone else has told you. I don't care if you look, act, sound, feel, or taste different. I want you B'Elanna, in whatever form that looks like. Okay? It's one thing if you don't want me to do something because you don't like it. It's another thing completely if you don't want me to because you're scared about what I am going to think. Are we clear?" he asked forcing her face towards his until she had no other choice but to look him in the eye. When he saw her tears forming he moved to kiss each eye lightly before kissing her lips deeply. Hoping that she would understand by his actions that she didn't need to be scared with him. When he broke for air he felt her nod into his forehead.

"Okay?" He asked her again.

"Okay." She answered quietly.

He gave her a wicked look that made her soul shake before he started to kiss his way back down her body. She tried to relax and trust in him, but it was hard. No other man had ever seemed to care so much about what she got out of sex. It was jarring how different this felt to the few men she had been with.

She couldn't help but to twitch as his mouth finally reached its destination. What if he hated it? Her boyfriend at the academy did. Hell, he'd done it once and then conveniently found ways to avoid it. What if for all Tom's big talk he found he didn't like it either. She would die out of shame. She'd…

Her brain was unable to form coherent thoughts as Tom's mouth began to feast. Both her hands immediately reach down to hold his head in place. She didn't care if he hated what he was doing, she was never going to let him move for the rest of the trip home. She felt him smile as she wrapped her fingers through his hair.

She couldn't decide if she felt like she wanted to laugh or cry, or hell both at the same time. She should have guessed for as much use as his tongue gets from talking, he'd be amazing at this.

A string of Klingon curses fell from her mouth as he continued. He thought about stopping briefly to tell her how amazing she tasted but figured she could figure that out on her own for now. Slowly he moved one of his hands holding her hips in place to between her legs and gradually slid a finger into her. She was so tight he started to have to plan course corrections in his head to keep from coming from just the feel of her on his finger. The sounds she was making in the back of her throat was enough to drive him insane.

After a few minutes he could tell she was close. He slid a second finger alongside of the first and felt her body clamp down hard around him from the intrusion. He could have sworn he had heard her gasp lightly. He paused his fingers for several seconds, giving her time to adjust to their presence. He knew she wasn't a virgin but considering how tight she was, she might as well be.

He couldn't wait to be inside of her but knew that would take some time. He was never one to brag about his size, it always seemed so trite, but he knew she would need to be more relaxed before he stood a chance of entering her without hurting her. Ever so gently he started to move his fingers in time with his mouth. When she growled he knew she was there.

She started to see streams of light behind her eyes. She had never felt anything so intense before, it was like she was coming out of her skin. It was terrifying and electric. She was unable to stop herself from moaning his name when she came. She was sure she had to be suffocating him when she clamped her thighs tightly against his head, but he didn't seem to mind. He worked to keep her at her peak, her quaking legs unable to keep their hold finally fell open. A long held whimper spilled from her lips.

Tom slowly began to work his way back up her body. Licking and biting as he went.

"Told you so." He said as he reached her lips, biting her lower lip softly.

"Shut up." She groaned softly

"Now aren't you glad that you let me?" He said not even bothering to try to keep the smugness out of his voice.

"Well considering the daily workout your mouth gets from talking, I should have known." She joked.

"Should I listen to you the next time you tell me to shut up?" He asked with a smile.

"Hell no, you're going to need all the practice you can get." She added, unable to stop the laugh from falling from her lips.

Tom moved to settle over her, capturing her lips in a scorching kiss, rocking his hips against hers.

She couldn't help but to be apprehensive when she felt him push against her center. She willed herself to relax. He was larger than anyone she had ever been with, not that she would ever tell him that, he's ego was already big enough. Unable to stop a groan from falling from her lips when his hand traveled down her body before gripping her hip hard.

He eased back when he felt her tense, moving to kiss her mouth before lightly nipping his way down her neck, his tongue working the hollow of her shoulder. He wanted their joining to be unhurried, but the fact that he hadn't been with anyone outside of the Holodeck in years made it hard to keep his passion reined in.

He wanted to just thrust into her with abandonment over and over again until neither of them could walk. Gently he pushed his hips forward, entering her shallowly before pausing when she hissed lightly.

"Shh," he whispered softly her in ear. "Relax."

"It's okay, Tom." Trying to keep the awkwardness out of her voice but he heard it. "You don't have to stop."

Tom couldn't hold back a laugh. "You think I'm just going slow just for you? You have no idea how amazing you feel. I'm having to run helm calculations in my head to keep from ending our first time in a humiliating premature fashion."

She giggled at his answer and he realized it was his new favorite sound in the entire universe. He made a promise to himself right then and there he was going to spend the rest of his life making her make that noise as often as possible.

"You think that's funny?" Tom asked with a smirk.

"You can just run helm calculations in your head?" She questioned more than a little shocked.

"Of course I can, I'm not just a pretty face who pushes buttons you know."

"Oh really?"

"Really." Tom said as he pressed his hips down lightly again causing her to sigh deeply as her body stretched trying to accommodate his presence. "Pick a starting and ending point and will blow your mind with my incredible calculation skills."

"I can't believe we are having this discussion right now." B'Elanna said panting.

Tom bit his way down her neck again. "Oh I don't know. I have a feeling it will be worth it in the end." As he lightly pushed deeper into her.

"Tom."

"What," he asked softly as he pulled back slightly.

"Be quiet."

Tom's head snapped back up to gaze at her face. "You really do remember more than you admitted don't you?"

"Will you just shut up and make love to me?"

Tom leered at her smartly. "I thought you just told me to ignore you when you tell me to shut up." He sighed before adding, "but I'll listen this time."

B'Elanna inhaled sharply, digging her nails into his shoulders as Tom entered her deeply in a strong but gentle stroke.

Tom rested his head on her shoulder, taking several shallow breaths before lifting himself up on his arms.

"You good?" he asked her gingerly as he slid almost completely out of her.

B'Elanna nodded her head lightly before she pulled at his hips. "Don't stop."

"7.98 days." He murmured almost to himself.

"What?" B'Elanna looked up at him confused.

"How long it would take Voyager to get from Earth to Qo'nus at maxim warp."

"Are you kidding me?" B'Elanna asked exasperated.

"Not the right time to make a joke?"

"Not if you want to keep living." She answered him only partly joking.

"I'm far more worried about not embarrassing the hell out of myself right now." Tom couldn't stop his grunted curse as she locked her heels around his hips forcing him back into her. She couldn't help but to laugh at his words. "B'Elanna, I'm not joking here."

B'Elanna smile soften and she slid her hands from his back to cup his face forcing him to look her in the eyes. "Let me put this in a way you'll understand Tom, it's one thing if you don't want to do something because you don't like it. It's another thing completely if you don't want to do it because you're scared about what I am going to think. Are we clear?" She said smugly.

"That's a dirty play. You know full well this is not the same thing." He said desperately trying to hold it together as she squeezed herself around him. His body started shaking against her internal ministrations. "Fuck, B'Elanna!"

"Yes it is Tom. I'm not going to think you're a teenage boy unable to hold it together his first time. What you're really saying is that you can't help it because you are with me, and I got to tell you, it feels amazing to have someone that excited to be with me." She paused before adding, "besides, now that I know what your mouth can do, I'm sure I could find a way for you to make it up to me if that happens."

"You are that amazing B'Elanna, but I would never live down that shame. Just give this to me will you? It's been far too long." He grumbled immediately knowing he had made a misstep.

"How long?" She asked immediately with an interested look on her face.

"Well that depends, do you consider holocharacters in that list."

"If I didn't?"

"Then you wouldn't need to worry about disemboweling anyone on the ship either."

She couldn't stop her snort, laughing brightly at his words. "Some playboy you are."

"Very funny."

"Just so we are clear the holodeck counts moving forward." She stated simply.

"Why would I ever need the holodeck when I have you, B'Elanna."

"I don't know. You might get bored of me and I am sure we will still fight all the time."

"I'm looking forward to our next fight." He said as he slid back out of her.

"You're what?" She asked groaning when he pushed back in.

"Just think, now we have a much better way to make up." He paused to smile down at her lightly as she shook her head laughing lightly again.

"This is not at all how I saw this night going." She groaned as he started to move again.

"Is this still perfect?" He asked as he started to set a gentle pace letting both of their bodies adjust.

"Yes." B'Elanna gasped as his force increased, digging her nails deeply into his shoulders drawing small bloody furls in their wake.

She tried to stay focused on his face, on the feel of him sliding in and out of her, but it was too much. She had heard people who describe sex as this all-consuming experience, she never believed them, how could something so basic feel life altering? Now she knew how wrong she had been.

She couldn't hold her world together. She realized she couldn't even recall how they had been going. In her head it both felt like hours and seconds at the same time. Each stroke was taking its toll on her. She felt him grip her hip as he changed his angle slightly. It was all it took for her to come undone. Her brain barely registered his own cry, let alone hers.

She felt him roll off of her lightly, pulling her body to rest against his. She curled into his arms resting her head on his chest. She found comfort in the fact that he seemed to have just as much trouble connecting with reality as she was. Maybe it was from all the pent up desire they had both held onto for so long.

Or, maybe it was because for the first time in both of their lives they had discovered what perfect felt like. And it wasn't perfect because of an action and it wasn't made perfect by saying the right words. Maybe perfect boiled down to being nothing more than a feeling. A feeling of being truly respected and madly, deeply cared for.

She hated that it all seemed to be so easy when it came down to it. Part of her felt cheated that she had never be able to experience anything like this before. Was it just as simple as being with someone who you love and who loves you? She had thought she had been in love before. She had been with men who had said they had loved her. Neither were maybe lies, but she knew now that wasn't love.

She felt Tom's arm squeeze her shoulder, lightly asking if she was okay. Something so simple, yet spoke volumes about the future of their relationship. She nodded into his chest fighting to stay awake. 

She wanted to laugh at how lame it seemed to fall asleep without talking. What a fucking cliquish. But she realized with the sound of his heart beat under her ear, his fingers lightly tracing her shoulder, she hadn't felt this safe in a long time. She barely felt Tom settle the blankets over them, kissing the side of her head.

"Prefect?"

Tom's voice reached her as she was succumbing to the comforting lull of the ships engines, her engines, in the ship he flew. Some how even that made such simple sense that they should have figured it out on day one. 

She smiled into his chest.

"Perfect."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would you like more chapters? If you want more chapters let me know. It might help me write faster.

**Author's Note:**

> Hate it? Like it? Love it? Please tell me. Watching the read count increase while the tumbleweeds blow throw the comments really does start to mess with a writer's mind.


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